Ok -
its a long time since I posted on this blog and I feel guilty! Not
because I have people clamouring to see more of my writing, but because I
started out so enthusiastically and only did two blog posts. The main
reason is that I got side-tracked by Art.
At a Wise Woman Weekend in Leitrim in 211, I innocently took an 'Art
for Fun' workshop, painted some pictures and found myself hooked right
out of my usual creative rut and into a brand new love affair. Before
this moment I had always been expressing my creative self in visual
ways: making papier mache boxes, weaving complex wool mandalas, sewing a
patchwork quilt, making my own Solstice/Christmas cards every year. But
mostly I was writing. Or, to be more accurate, mostly I was
not-writing. Starting novels with months of plotting and planning,
badgering myself to write, feeling bad about not writing, managing a few
thousand words. Actually I have 30,000 words for two, or maybe even
three, novels. Then... nothing. Just getting stuck and moving onto
something else. Like pushing a huge rock uphill. When I sat to write,
sometimes it was fun, sometimes it was satisfying, but mostly it was
hard hard hard.
So
I put my energy into counselling and tried to forget about my inner
frustrated creative self. Until the workshop with wonderful Merovee, who saw my
joy and encouraged me to go home and paint. Which I did - and when the
joy didn't wear off I found myself applying for a FETAC course in Art
and Design.
Concerned about doing a full-time course I opted for part-time, which would usually take 2 years. It was amazing to be painting and drawing 2 days a week. So, even though I would only have done half of a FETAC, I applied for a degree in Fine Art at Sligo IT - my local institute of higher education and, realistically, the only one I can attend. When I found I had been accepted I went through an agony of indecision. Could I really do a full-time course? And still do my counselling work? Would I just be exhausted? Is it crazy for a 54 year old woman to do an art degree? What do I want from it - paid work (not likely)? A hobby (bit of an overkill if that's all it means to me)? And on it went....
Concerned about doing a full-time course I opted for part-time, which would usually take 2 years. It was amazing to be painting and drawing 2 days a week. So, even though I would only have done half of a FETAC, I applied for a degree in Fine Art at Sligo IT - my local institute of higher education and, realistically, the only one I can attend. When I found I had been accepted I went through an agony of indecision. Could I really do a full-time course? And still do my counselling work? Would I just be exhausted? Is it crazy for a 54 year old woman to do an art degree? What do I want from it - paid work (not likely)? A hobby (bit of an overkill if that's all it means to me)? And on it went....
In the end i just accepted that i wanted the discipline of having to do art every day. That I was excited by the thought of being taught new skills and offered new ideas about how to explore the world and myself through the visual. I wanted to be creative alongside other people struggling to express themselves. And as for all the reasons for NOT doing it? I did my decision making process - I sat and thought 'I accept the place and do a degree' - and felt really excited. Then I thought 'I don't accept the place and keep doing what I'm doing' and felt a wave of disappointment. So that decided me. And here I am. Painting and taking photos and looking forward to my second year.
And back on my blog. Which I now want to take wider, to include art and psychotherapy, and everything else I'm into and up to. A kind of personal online diary, for anyone who's interested, and for me to keep my writing going. Because since doing more visual creative stuff I've been writing a lot less, and I'm greedy and want to do it all. At least a bit.
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